Doctor: "Wow, you were right when you said you were an enigma. You really are a tough case."
Me: "Awesome, I know." (sarcasm)
Doctor: "No...I told you, we're going to figure this out. We just need a different perspective"
Me: "Okay" (meaning it)
This was the conversation at my holistic doctor's office today. I showed her my lab results from my annual wellness visit. While my family medicine doctor was happy with them, this doctor was not pleased, and neither was I to be honest. I had radically altered my diet again over the last 6 months and saw an increase in my HgbA1C and not much improvement with my thryoid, lipids, and hormones.
A year ago at this time, I would not have been "okay" with this. A year ago, I felt despair, I felt tired, and I wanted to give up and go eat a batch of chocolate chip cookies. I was dealing with another round of mystery rash and no one knew what to do anymore. I even got shamed by one of functional doctors who told me I should start working out hard core because it was the one thing I wasn't doing and, by the way, I had belly fat to lose. Ouch. Like big ouch. It was the same sting of hearing various doctors over the years tell me there was really nothing wrong with me.
I meditated on this and came to the realization that I was on my own. I had to figure this out and fix it all on my own. No one was going to swoop in and save the day. For the first time I started interviewing doctors. That was weird, and somewhat uncomfortable, but I'm so glad I did it.
I told each one I spoke with, I'm a hard case, I've already seen 3 functional doctors who could not help me, how will you be different? And I was NOT messing around. One guy was all about fermented vegetables. I was like, "been there, done that, next!". Everyone was like "oh yeah, I can do tough cases". Insert giant eye roll...yes, I've heard that, everywhere!
I landed on my current holistic doctor for a couple reasons. #1- She's highly educated with multiple degrees and studies in a variety of fields (herbal medicine, naturopathy, chiropratic, energetic therapies and more). #2- She was confident. Like knew her stuff inside and out. She had real answers for how she would approach a tough case like me. #3- She didn't promise me easy answers. She said it would be tough but she would stick it out with me to figure out what was going one. #4-Probably the most important, I got good vibes from her.
Good vibes...what? Another thing that I came to realize while meditating on my health was that I needed to go deeper and address health from an energetic perspective. That started with trusting my instincts about who I was going to choose to help me on my path. I've pushed my intuition, or instincts, down for a long time and it hasn't really helped me much. Additionally, there is a lot of researching coming out about how trauma and trapped emotions can have physical expressions in the body, so I've become very interested and believe this may be part of the key to healing.
Over this past year, I've learned to appreciate my body. I'm working on loving my body, but it's been an ugly relationship for a long time, so that will take work and patience. I'm grateful for the lessons it teaches me. Despite still not having all the answers, I'm so much better off than I was 4 years ago!
If this is what being an enigma means, then I'm okay with that. Because all of those experiences have brought me to this point in my life and made me the person I am today. All of this learning and self-experimentation has put me in a great position to empathize with you and help you get on your path to wellness too.
I am a nurse, although I no longer provide direct care to patients.
Why? Lots of reasons actually.
It is physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually demanding work. My body and spirit have suffered due to the immense stress of it all. When you go to nursing school, you know you will take care of people from the cradle to the grave and will face challenging situations. No one tells you that you will have co-worker bullies who take pleasure in watching you fail. No one tells you that you will not have enough energy to properly take care of yourself. No one tells you that patients and family will verbally and physically abuse you and not be held accountable. No one tells you that patient satisfaction scores will be more important to your employer than your safety and well-being.
It's time for all of that to change.
I have decided it's time to take care of my people, in a way that I feel I can make an impact.
I've hesitated sharing this story because: a) it's gross and b) that makes it kind of embarrassing.
I decided to share in the hopes that someone else might be helped by this story.
I have MRSA.
This week was my birthday and I've taken some time to reflect on the perspective of aging. Getting older used to bother me, but this was different. I felt good about my age. In fact, I was going through some old photos and found some of me from about 14 years ago. The difference is quite striking in my opinion.
I've had a strange fantasy for years now.
Maybe you've had one similiar...
Telling off the person who made you feel small. Here's how it unfolded...I wrote my doctor this letter.
We were asked a couple weeks back to do some recipe testing on pumpkin muffins. Tis the season of all things pumpkin, so Alida gave it a shot. They weren't too bad, but something was missing. There wasn't one fatal problem with the recipe but there were a lot of little issues that can be problematic with grain-free baking. But, to me the most glaring offense was a personal one. Having lived in the south for many years, I have become accustomed to sweets made with sweet potato instead of pumpkin. Now I have come to firmly believe that if people made savory food with pumpkins and sweet things with sweet potatoes everyone would be happier! A couple warnings here: Starbucks is not going to start selling sweet potato spiced lattes, even though you will crave them, and when you serve these muffins just lie and say they are pumpkin. Yankees won't know the difference.
I'm really frustrated right now. Why?
Because I'm tired of all these programs and products being pushed in people's faces with the promise of health, weight loss, vitality, blah blah blah! Well let me tell you something...
I'm writing this post from what I can only describe as a "bachelor pad" in Salt Lake City. I'm here for an amazing essential oil convention where I've already gotten to reconnect with some awesome people and learn more great stuff to bring back to you.
You see, I'm staying at an Air BnB, which means I'm renting someone's place for the week.
Building stress management strategies into your life can take a little time and effort until they become ingrained in your routine. So what can you do right now to find relief when you have zero time?
Can we talk about detoxing for a minute?
I’m not talking about the kind of detoxing everyone does after New Year’s, although I will mention that here briefly.
What I want to talk about is the detoxing happening in your body every single day. Did you know your body is detoxing every single day? True Story!
I’m going to keep this as simple as I can because detoxing can get pretty complicated. I love science and learning how things work, but if you start too big, it can be overwhelming.
Your body has 3 main detox systems. They are: the liver (your primary detox center), your lungs, and your skin.