Playing Small to Make Others Feel Big

I have a confession to make.

I make myself small in order to ensure everyone else feels comfortable. It never occurred to me until plans for my 40th birthday came together.

My husband and I ended up planning an amazing dream vacation to Hawaii. The way the whole came together was awesome and is far better than anything I could have hoped for! Needless to say, I was so ecstatic and wanted to share my exciting news with friends, family, the guy walking his dog down my street, the local media…you get the picture.

After I had told a few people and showed the pictures of where we were planning to go, I paused.

I knew several people who had recently turned 40 and they didn’t go on a dream vacation. What if they felt bad? What if they thought I was bragging? What if they thought I was a jerk?

Maybe I should tone it down a notch. Maybe I shouldn’t be so excited in front of other people. Maybe I should just keep this to myself and not make such a big deal about it.

There are even people I know that I can envision saying something to sarcastic effect of “well it must be nice…”

It occured to me that I was playing small. I realized I was willing to diminish my joy in an effort to make other people comfortable.

This has been my pattern for as long as I can remember. Being afraid of doing, being, and having amazing things and experiences because of the judgement of others.

When that finally sank in, I decided no more!

No more would I diminish my joy and happiness in an effort to try to take care of other people’s feelings.

No more would I keep myself small to keep others comfortable.

It is not your job to take care of other people’s feeling at the expense of your own. Everyone is entitled to their feelings, but that shouldn’t mean we have to alter our feelings for that person’s benefit.

Alida Wagner

Alida Wagner

Holistic Life and Wellness Coach

I’m a mom, wife, and busy with my career and I have been there. There was a point in my life when I was drifting through life and didn’t even know who I was anymore.

I specialize in helping you stop taking on the burdens of taking care of everyone else first, and start prioritizing yourself.

I can show you that you are worth taking care of yourself. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for the sake of anything else. I help the caregivers finally take care of themselves.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Sign me up for news, Videos, and Updates Straight to your Inbox

Alida Wagner | Holistic Life and Wellness Coach

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This